Divorce is a very difficult and stressful time for parents and children alike. Children need to learn and know that the divorce is not their fault and that they are free to love both their parents. Parents need to learn that their children live both of them even if they are not perfect and that persuading children to take their side is painful and hurtful for them. Children do not want or need to hear unpleasant things about the other parent. At the same time children need to be protected from parents who are hurtful to the child. Parents can be hurtful to their children not just through physical abuse, but also through emotional outbursts, leaving a child under 12 alone and unsupervised and/or drinking to excess and doing drugs.